I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
