Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
