The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
