Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
