soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
