dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
