Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just had sex on a roof
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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