i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
