i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize