Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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