I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
two words: eviction party
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
