well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
