After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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