it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
