just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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