so that wasnt chicken after all
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
