Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
