East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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