We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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