Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
