and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
