we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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