Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
