I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
