You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Randomize
