Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
