no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
