Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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