I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
