i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
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