I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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