You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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