so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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