it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
