I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
