Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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