Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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