woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
