I hate all girls vehemently.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have aggressive nipples.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
