She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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