dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She's not a foreskin expert like you
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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