you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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