Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
