I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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