I wanna passion pit in your ass
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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