Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
