it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
