how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think people are normalizing furries
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
