I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
