They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
