drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
