Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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