You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
