Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
this hospital has no fireball
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
