This is not my ceiling
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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