Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
