1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
