had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize