hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
