I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
