You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize