nut hugger
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize