I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
